“Diet your own diet” are words I’m attempting to live by at the moment. (For details, see my last post.)

But I’m finding it really hard at the moment. Let’s do a recap, shall we?

I started my weight loss efforts on May 25, 2016 by entering into the OptiFast program. On September 13, 2016 I ended my journey with OptiFast as my dieting method. That was 16 weeks of OptiFast and a loss of just under 50 pounds.

Now, it has been just over 4 weeks since I went back to actual food. I’ve been following a low carb style of eating. I didn’t pick Adkins or Keto or anything, really, other than a target of 30 – 35 carbs per day, around 1800 cals per day, and a macro breakdown that was heavy on fat and protein and (of course) light on carbs.

I bought the little pee sticks to make sure I went into ketosis – which is what I’ve done in  years past when following a low carb diet and have had no problem getting into ketosis with. I bought food and cooked almost every meal my own self. I did food prep twice a week and brought my lunch bag with me every day so I had no excuse or reason to stray.

And what happened? I gained weight. It’s only 3-5 lbs and I’m not freaked out about the GAIN, I’m freaked out because the low carb is not working for weight loss. And it’s always worked. I’m a little freaked out because I knew going into OptiFast that there’s a good chance it would “wreck” my metabolism for a little while after coming off of it. But it’s been a MONTH. Isn’t that long enough to start seeing a difference? Not only that, but I have barely gone into ketosis despite staying on my 30-35 (some days only hitting 20) carbs a day.

So I’m dithering on the spot about what to do next. Do I keep to exactly what I’ve been doing and increase exercise? Do I start adding in complex carbs (brown rice, quinoa, sweet potatoes and a little fruit) in an effort to “balance” my diet? Do I go back to OptiFast for another round of weight loss?

And in the middle of this I’ve got a nasty cold and my appetite decided to take a nose dive 3 days ago so I’m having a hard time eating anything. But, OF COURSE, I gained another 3 oz somehow. *facepalm*

So that’s me, folks. Struggling to figure out the next step in my path. I’ve been interested, lately, in lifting weights. I had started to get into it a couple of years ago but didn’t have the $$$ for a trainer. Now I’m thinking I might just have to FIND that money. Just long enough to learn the moves properly so I don’t hurt myself lifting. I know there are a ton of videos (and good ones, at that) online showing how to do each move but I’m just not confident enough that I’d manage to do it right in the gym with people around.

I’ve got the weekly weigh in after work today and I’m going to ask for a chart showing what my weight has been each week (they give them to us sporadically) so I can make a chart here to keep moving forward. I’m also going to ask my wife to take some more photos and help me do some measurements.

Because, on a positive note, I don’t notice the 3 or 5 pounds I’ve put on. If anything, when I look in the mirror sometimes, I feel like I’m a little smaller. But, I don’t want to be one of those people who assume every little increase in weight, or lack of weight loss, is because “ZOMG I’M BUILDING MUSCLE!!!” – especially when I’m not really exercising often at the moment.

I realize, don’t worry, that I’m probably just trying to avoid the truth of needing to buckle down into a good exercise routine. I’m eating clean – at least an 80/20 split – and no longer binge eating, so that’s gotta be the next step. *deep sigh* Fucking anxiety. Exercise was MUCH EASIER for me to get into and DO before my anxiety got so bad. I mean, I can’t even go into a movie theater which is dark and fairly anonymous anymore. How the HELL am I going to deal with the gym?