It’d be cute if I were a goose. But I’m not. In the 6 weeks or so since I stopped Opti-Fast (and mostly just in the last month) I gained 17 pounds back.

So I’m back at it. Opti-Fast shakes morning, noon, and night, baby!

So far I’m just peeing constantly. I haven’t had any tummy troubles so that’s good. And I feel pretty sure I’ve dropped a couple of pounds already. The doc told me it was the salt that put that many pounds back on so fast. My reply? “I’m the man who gained 100 pounds in less than a year – don’t underestimate me.”

In other, more interesting news, I’ve bought myself a few gifts. It is the season, after all. And we don’t have kids. This is one reason why.

I bought us out of our old cell phone contract and we switched back to our preferred provider. We also went back to iPhones after 2 years of Android and OMG I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK. Sweet Jesus it’s so much better.

Additionally, I got myself an Apple Watch Series 1 and a Kindle Fire. These things make me happy beyond measure. It’s ridiculous, actually. Another reason we don’t have kids – I’m already a kid.

This is a crap update but it’s so busy for me right now that I wanted to get something out there before you thought I was dead 🙂